Muslim Militants Show Mercy to Benighted Christians
In a remarkable act of mercy, Muslim militants in Nigeria have given Christian students a 30 minute running head start in their attempts to hunt them down and kill them. The Christian students were expelled in November from public schools after their outrageous attempts to explain Christianity to other students inflamed the local populace against them. When they had the temerity to return home and attempt to cover up their crimes, their antisocial behavior provoked the local militants to kill them. However, despite the enormity of their crimes, the militants still have offered to give the Christians a running head start. "Let it never be said that Islam is not a religion of tolerance, of respect, of peace," said the militant leader. "In proof of this, I am giving these infidel blasphemers a 30 minute lead before we hunt them down like the animals that they are."